“You, then me, and then we.”
When entering into any interpersonal relationship I lay the foundation with the concept: “You, then me, then we.” I believe that a partnership grows in the healthiest way by fully acknowledging the humanity of ‘you’ through my actions.
You:
You have your own life story that is accompanied by influence, growth, wants, needs, and value sets.
Me:
I have my life story accompanied by same equally valuable experiences.
As people, I feel that far too often, we allow our wants for another person to supersede their own. In doing so, we lose sight of the gift we can give one another – the gift that supports ‘you’ to continue living your own life story in the fullest way possible.
Why does it happen that we lose sight of our ability to gift one another with freedom, and independence?
It is human to want to maintain what feels comfortable. It is human to want to do that which will ‘get us along’ with one another.
Admittedly, I myself am a regimented person who feels uncomfortable in many traditionally normal circumstances. [Great! So let’s all stay in our own lanes!] Nope <3
The trouble though with my uncomfortability is that: I’m losing sight of you. I’m losing sight of your wants, and needs.
At this critical time in our shared humanity, we must cultivate our capacity to work through our uncomfortabilities. Our individual wants can be accomplished, and beautifully strengthened, by allowing ourselves to settle into the reality that there is a We.
We
Have the opportunity to work with one another to explore developmental science, and provide equitability. All the while celebrating that which makes us individually unique.
It’s quite a joy really…and totally a lot of work. I’m here for it, and I hope that you will be too.
Signing off for now,
